Soon after the twins’ arrival they needed airway surgery to open up the area under their vocal cords to allow air to pass over them. The amount of scar tissue that was present would prevent them from being intubated from above in the event their trach failed and their ENT thought it was important to have the surgery about a month after their transition home. I’ll write more about that (and other surgeries!) later because this post has another star: my youngest! [so far]
After the surgery, while the twins were inpatient recovering and awaiting the follow-up procedures needed before leaving for home, I had a visit from the twins social worker. We talked about how well the twins had bonded to me, how their birth family wanted to get a chance to visit in the fall, AND that their bio-mo was again in labor… My kids were 17 months old, their next older sister was 28 months old, and another child was being brought into the world through the same cocaine-tainted uterus that wreaked havoc upon my twins. Immediately I asked if the child was a girl or a boy… and followed with: “it really doesn’t matter but hopefully this is it for a while because I only have so many bedrooms.” With that comment uttered, I began the process of welcoming the fourth of my children into my home. She was a bit better off than the twins gestationally; her delivery occurred in the 33rd week of the pregnancy, making her a “giant” at 4lbs. 4oz.
The Department quoted concerns that my twins were too needy to handle another child- I sent them a slideshow of pictures of our walks along the river, trips to my sister’s, playing with toys in the playroom. The Department has RULES [unwritten] about not placing another child in a family that has children under the age of 2- they delayed matching my new homestudy until the week of my twins’ second birthday. The Department conceded that it would be best to place her with her older sister and brother. She was FINALLY going to get to come home!
My youngest was a tiny babe when I first met her, March 10, 2008, 1 year and 1 day from my meeting of the twins! She was cuddly and snuggly and 8 months old, living in a foster home near where her bio-mo was last seen. Her loving foster parents cried when I first came, knowing they would soon be sending her to live with her forever family. Although we do not speak the same language, I understood the tears were shed for the sadness they felt in knowing they would miss her, as well as to share the happiness of her finding a home where she could grow up with her older siblings. Over the next week, I visited her daily and brought her brothers and sister into town to meet her and get Easter Bunny pictures taken.
8 days later, the social worker parked her car out front and walked my precious new bundle up the stairs. Youngest lay in my arms and the twins touched her face, held her hand, and brought toys to show her. I scheduled a family photo for that afternoon, knowing full-well I might realize quickly that there was no WAY I was ever going to get out of the house again! The pictures were a big success, all four kids looking intently at the camera, a smile from the teen at how crazy his Mom truly was.
For some time, this is the completion of our family. One day there may be others who join, related or not, but for now the craziness feels full, real, rewarding.
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