10. If you drink too much you could get a headache & not be able to do the next 11 neb medication series…
9. Frankly, if you TRY to drink “too much” you will only pass out as you take a sip of your second glass- exhaustion will force you into a deep slumber & you will SURELY miss dinner.
8. Your “normal” child is prone to sudden onset severe asthma & she will begin to wheeze when you begin to pour…
7. The corkscrew has been repurposed to open medication ampules and it’s too much bother to clean.
6. The oximeters have “relax-dar” – if you so much as move the milk over to consider taking out the Riesling, they will inevitably alarm repeatedly until repositioned on both twins.
5. The next neb treatment is actually due now…
4. It’s time to blend, heat, set-up & begin the overnight feed so who has time to search for a back-up corkscrew?!?
3. Have you ever been to a home with multiples and had all of the kids well at the same time??
2. BEEP!! BEEP!! ‘No food out’- what the hell??? Didn’t I just flush the GTube 5 seconds ago???
And the number 1 reason parents of complex medical needs’ kids don’t drink wine:
1. He’s making that cough again. THAT cough. That cough that indicates tonight or tomorrow will be the date of the next ER visit.