The tapestry of the life of a medically complex family

My eldest

It began in a way unplanned, unexpected. 17 years ago I became a ‘Mom’. His arrival was delayed- a preview of his reticence to join something new that has continued throughout. He protested his arrival, forcing the use of strong medications and other “encouragement”. When he arrived he surveyed the 15 medical personnel wondering “what the heck are they worried about”? After an 80 point heart rate drop that lasted his final 11 minutes of incubation, he literally looked around and relished the chaos he had been able to cause.

He grew as a wonder- bright, inquisitive and ever tall for his age. A quiet, only-child who excelled through elementary school. A teen who went through the usual lax response to the requirements of his high school coursework, rarely turning in neat and orderly homework, occasionally not turning it in at all…  Yet, in 3 weeks, he heads to N. University, seemingly ready, planning to work hard to get the co-op work he wants when that part of his program begins next spring.

What I want to tell you about him is that he is amazing, he is caring, he is the best work I have EVER done. I marvel at him and hope I can do nearly as well with my other 3 – when he isn’t currently deserving to be killed because, after all, he IS a teen-ager! When he is “on the amazing channel”, I see a caring young man who plays with 3 siblings who joined him here only a short time ago. Siblings who usurped his reign on the “only child” throne. A brother and 2 sisters, years his junior, whose lives are complicated, time-consuming, receive his love and attention daily. He accepts them as I do: full-fledged family members who share our hearts but not our biology. It is acceptance beyond his years, beyond what others and older relations are capable. He checks in when he’s away, reads stories and provides good night hugs. I see him and know I have done my job; soon this man-child will enter the world an adult who contributes to the world, caring for others, defending those less capable or fortunate. I love the view I have of his story unfolding.


Comments on: "My eldest" (1)

  1. […] children all bear names to honor family members who have come before them. My eldest, Liam, is named for my mother’s father William. He was an engineer and a lover of music. My […]

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