By the time I have the help of another nurse, it will have been 129 hours since the last covered shift. The kids are on “sick plan” – 8 scheduled nebs a piece, with additional nebs for break-through wheezing or congestion. 29-30 nebs every day, on average.
Tonight, for the first time in 2.5 weeks, all 3 are getting oxygen saturation reading of 99-100%. Maybe I will be able to drop off to the “regular” of just 6 nebs/day.
5+ days. 150+ nebs. Our last time trying ‘baseline’, my youngest spent half the night at 89…
It’s exhausting but extra nebs is better than going in. Whatever this is, I want it knocked out of the park. A couple more nights, some really good days, maybe Monday.
Set down my friends & you will hear
The midnight nebs we do revere
The pulsing PARIs thump the floor
Albuterol works magic more
A cough, a sneeze, but rare awake
Misty medicine breath intake
The final checks across the room
Re-fill compressors for the two’em
Meds run out, I make the switch
Mist back on & then neb rinse
Check respir-rate, sats & heart
Climb to loft, sleep-vigil start
4, 5 hours wait for beeps
Hoping none while 3some sleeps
Ever watchful of my peeps
2014 came in with an illness bang. Lower sats across the crew & 4L of oxygen for one were the elements of my New Year’s Eve celebrations. 2 days of 6-hour scheduled nebulized medications seem to be working their “magic” & today lung congestion is rampant but oxygen requirements are back nearer to baseline. I am really hoping this is the “turn” of this illness & we’ll be down to 8hr meds & oxygen baseline by the weekend.
This year I hope to blog more- not to high a bar considering there were only 45 posts last year! Be prepared fir updates & poems & cuteness. :)
Hoping for a Happy & Healthy New Year for all of you & yours.
My “Big Kids” of 2014
Nebs & meds & feeding trials
Greetings, hugs & beautiful smiles
Play & read & interact
Teach & learn, health status track
Bathe & complete trach care/change
GTube placement check, rearrange
Mid-day food may take so long
Mid-afternoon stretch & dance to song
Health assessment again at least
Add on treatments to stay “the beast”
Oops! Snack’s late! Run to kitchen.
Calories tracked, must get all in.
BARELY time to do much else
Place the toys back on the shelf,
Craft some dinner while they draw
Food refusal daily flaw
Meds, brush teeth, toilet rotation
Return to beds for neb medications
Pure exhaustion & anxiety spikes
Try to adjust things to his exact likes
Then 3 pass out, sleeping sound
While my continued work abound
Feed up, nebs clean, then the dishes
Wish all was done with goodnight kisses
ALARM!! Move child. Adjust the lines.
Add oxygen? Lung sounds? Write down finds.
A few repetitions of the same theme
Tiredness sets in but can’t yet dream
Feed stage 2 prep, change it over
Observe for delivery, let out ‘rover’
Wash the prep tools, counters, table
Try to nap hours while you’re able.
Every few hours check all of them
Awaken morning to begin again.
I was chatting with another Mom to a child who will not outlive her. It is a difficult awareness that we live each day. A difficulty that is not without its own gifts for we who live it.
I think one thing about our kids:
It won’t always comfort us, but their strength through all this adversity, their joy, their sweetness, their ability to draw people into our lives who understand- who love us & them- that legacy will stay with us when we no longer have them with us physically. YOU, other parents of children LIKE mine & different from mine… it’s a gift my children have provided that will outlive them.
Bittersweet gift, but a gift for which I will forever be thankful.
I cannot stop staring at her hair. It is thick and blonde and perfectly coifed. It is the kind of hair that begins partway forward on the forehead. It is PERFECT today. And I cannot stop staring.
Her mouth is moving – telling me she has breast cancer. She is scheduled for a second opinion & surgery next week. She needs time off from helping my child to address this devastating health issue. I nod. I gulp. I think of her 9 & 11 year olds, her husband.
And I can’t help staring at her hair.